It sinks in. The stares as I pace. The red of my eyes throughout the almost empty hallways. The phone call that ended my faith. It all sinks in and I start to drown with it.

I start to wonder when it happened did you see the sun?
Or did you land on your chest, your face in the dirt,
did you say a thing?
Even last words are only words.

Because I feel less and less.

When the songs we sing make it to heaven, would our long lost friends hear them or even listen?
Do our words get lost in the clouds? Are we wasting our breath singing so loud?
Aren't we just like God? Wasting our breath?

Does it leave you worried?
(from time to time)
Does it keep your hands shaking?
(like it does mine)
Does it break your heart?
(to leave your friends behind)

I shook hands with your mother today
I heard her faith couldn't carry the weight
I heard your spirit, I heard your voice break

It was soccer, it was drinking,
it was acting to old for our age, only 16
always thinking why wasn't it me?
it should have been me.

The church pews, and their faces
the silence, the spaces
where the light leaks in
where the light leaked in

I'll always look
I'll always hope for some light to leak in.